When i got back yesterday after being at hostel for a night, there were lots of updates. Mum’s bag and tube were gone, and in its place were plasters in an “L” shape that she was very tickled by. Then she said, “Chemo is going to start tomorrow.” and then my sister came by and told me a list of very important things:
1. Temperature must be taken every day. Anything above 38 degrees is a fever.
2. In the case of fever, immediate trip to A & E. Three things must be said: My mum has colon cancer, she is on chemotherapy, she has a fever.
3. Her chemo pills must be handled only by herself. We mustn’t even take it out of the foil for her because the contact itself will kill our cells.
4. There shall be no more visitors.
5. Anyone who is sick (cold, flu, cough) must not go near Mum.
6. All the medicines for the possible side effects are upstairs. Take only what is needed.
And then Mum said, “There is one more important thing. If anything happens and i have to be sent to ICU, and the doctor asks if you want me to be resuscitated, my answer is no. Ask him what the outcome will be. If i’ll be in a vegetative state, then no.”
My sis asked, “Did you tell meimei about the 5%?” My mum chuckled and said she was flipping through a pamphlet at the hospital that talked about colon cancer, and apparently the survival rate for Stage 4 colon cancer is only five percent. But we talked about how statistics are just numbers, how we don’t depend on chances, how it is a loving and powerful God who holds our lives in His hands. And in her emphatic way that has become almost characteristic of her these days, she said, “对！”
Then she talked a bit more about the house and the accounts and the investments, and at the end of the day she even said of the house, “Oh well, so i’ve paid for it all my life, so i’ve spent my whole life tending it with care…but i’ve also enjoyed it all these years, and should it fall to ruin, then so be it.” i asked her if she were ready for the chemo, since it was kinda sudden that she’s starting it now, and she said yes.
When we sat down for dinner she said meimei should say grace because she has already said grace with jiejie during lunch. It is nice to know that we pray together at every meal, and that every time we pray she is brought to the Lord at His throne of grace again, and that’s not all the time she is there. Before she slept she said there is a lot she wants to “跟上帝讲” and that she felt a bit bad that she talks to Him so much in bed, and that she wanted to talk to Him when she sits up too.
By now she would have taken the first chemo pills. i wonder how she is. She said much prayer is needed to keep her focused and at peace so that she won’t keep thinking about the side effects…who knows who will get what anyway? So we are all praying, and we know that we can be kept in perfect peace when our mind is stayed on Him. i kinda wanna be at home today…but i don’t have to be there to know that God is there.
