We were talking about the house, and it is something that obviously hangs heavy on her mind. After all, it is the one key asset in her name, and it is where she has spent the last 25 years of her life, where she has seen 3 girls grow, where her own father breathed his last. She has been the only one amongst all of us who has spent all her years there. The rest of us have moved out at some point in time or other, and while some did move back, most did not, and some never will again.
“Will you let the house become like the other two we’ve seen gone to waste?
Will our house become like the one a few doors down, overrun with weeds and rats?
Will the house be sold to nonchalant occupants who will not understand why that corner house on a little hill has so much potential and has windows facing every direction, lets the sun in at the right places at the right time, and has the wind blowing through it from tip to tip all day?”
“What would you like to see the house be then?”
“i just want you girls to have a home to go back to; a 娘家you know you always belong in. i didn’t have one, and i want you girls to.”
It was funny/weird, but the one time she laughed the most heartily and the loudest in all this time was tonight, when she was talking about how much she liked the house. “我真的很喜欢那间屋子，我死都不搬！” Just as the thought popped into my head, she said it first: “现在真的死都不搬了啊！” Then she burst into her hearty laughter, and as i laughed, half wondering if it was appropriate, she added: “会笑就赢了！ ” And so we had some deliberate ha-ha-has.
But neither of us knew exactly what to do with the house, even if i do manage to keep it somehow. How will we take care of it with no one living there? How do we ensure that it will not be desecrated by whoever sets foot in or his hands on it?
After all, it is probably not just about the house. We kept veering off to many stories of the past.
“Do you remember the time you came home from school one day and told me that your teacher wrote your name on the blackboard? i even asked if it was because you did something well. But you shyly told me no, and that your teacher had said we had insufficient funds in your Giro account. i got such a shock and felt bad for you, so i hurriedly asked if you were the only one. You then said that there were many names on the board, most of whom were the Malaysians in your class.”
“i don’t know why i don’t tell my own sisters these things, nor do i tell my friends, nor do i tell my sisters-in-law…i don’t tell anyone all these at all, but somehow i tell you all about it.”
“when you girls come into the room and chat with me as i lie here, it’s like we’re back at Skudai again, don’t you think?”
But we ended the night time chat today talking about Solomon, and how in his riches and wisdom and fame, his conclusion was that all is vanity, and the only thing worth doing, keeping, having is faith in the Lord God Himself. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.
