seven year old joys

today lou was looking at my precious moments Bible and she asked if it was new…then i flipped to the page where my sis had signed it when she gave it to me years ago, and i realised then that my Bible is already 7 years old…the same age as my sunday school boys!!

sunday school has been a great joy…even though sometimes i get mini panic attacks about not being able to come up with any lesson at all, i really thank God things have been well so far. and with 5 lively young ones – hearty seven-year-old boys — every lesson has been filled with much chatter, laughter, and activity. and just today, as i was telling them the story of zacchaeus climbing the tree to see Jesus, it struck me that this was the first time i actually got absolute silence in my class, and five eager faces looked up at me, listening to my every word. that magic didn’t last that long of course, but that’s only normal…

near the end of class jo asked me why i called benjy benjy…and i said, well cos he’s a little benjamin, so i call him benjy! so jo asked, is he still little?? and benjy of course replied indignantly, but i’m already seven! ok…so no more benjy. he’s big ben from now on. haha.

they are soooo lovable, and just so full of life and hope. there’s so much more i should be doing to do them justice of being their ss teacher. to make sure i don’t spoil anything the Lord has given to do, especially this!

from the Book of Hours by Rainer Maria Rilke

I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough
to make every hour holy.
I am too small in the world, and yet not tiny enough
just to stand before you like a thing,
dark and shrewd.
I want my will, and I want to be with my will
as it moves towards deed;
and in those quiet, somehow hesitating times,
when something is approaching,
I want to be with those who are wise
or else alone.
I want always to be a mirror that reflects your whole being,
and never to be too blind or too old
to hold your heavy, swaying image.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere do I want to remain folded,
because where I am bent and folded, there I am lie.
And I want my meaning
true for you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I studied
closely for a long, long time,
like a word I finally understood,
like the pitcher of water I use every day ,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the deadliest storm of all.

เจ็บ

what is this world we live in, that even love can be abused?

“the creation itself will also be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.” (Romans 8:21)

quick, find your way home.

midst term break

last saturday we had a day out with YPG I…it was nice to see everyone enjoying themselves, and it still amuses me how much energy these young ones have. i was just reminded again that i have old bones. anyway, since i was having a flu and am paranoid about dropping dead, i didn’t join in much. joel and i got to (wo)man a station together that was known as the mage station and had to do with scrabble tiles and spelling words, and while we were waiting for people to come play there, we wondered if they put us there together because (i) we are/will be reading literature in uni, or (ii) we are super not active people. there was no conclusion.

so while he went off to join the rest for the first big flag game, i sat at our station and waited for them…meanwhile i did this:

it was a story i made up with as many of the tiles we had as i could…one line is missing though. it should read: “once upon a time there lived an old man in a cosy little hut on a forrested prairrie (sic) ze side jogs gay bugs line”
you may wonder what it means, but it really does make sense. the old man was living in a little hut on a prairie that had many trees, and along the side of the hut there was a row of bugs which were very happy so they were jogging.

last week we also had mari’s birthday dinner…the way she always imagined a party to be — party hats, cinderella cake, tiara, fairy wings, and “who wants an autograph with the princess?” though she used up all her social energy that night, i thought she was extremely lovely about it.

in my life

Loneliness:

“She was not an existence, an experience, a passion, a structure of sensations, to anybody but herself. To all humankind besides Tess was only a passing thought. Even to friends she was no more than a frequently passing thought. If she made herself miserable the livelong night and day it was only this much to them — ‘Ah, she makes herself unhappy.’ If she tried to be cheerful, to dismiss all care, to take pleasure in the daylight, the flowers, the baby, she could only be this idea to them — ‘Ah, she bears it very well.’…Most of the misery had been generated by her conventional aspect, and not by her innate sensations.”

(Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy)

Friendship:

我走路你坐车 你吃饭我洗碗 你被欺负我拼命

若为了爽到你 可以艰苦到我 因为 咱缘分不可散

有你 我才未孤单 有你的陪伴 我才有靠山

你若不爽 我是你的垃圾车 每天 听你的心声

有你 我才未孤单 有你的陪伴 我才有靠山

你若欢喜 我是你的垃圾车 每天 听你唱歌

爱情有影伤肝 想到我就会惊 亲像热天洗温泉

头晕目暗的我 爱到整身躯汗 我 欢喜又搁甘愿 给你快活

เพราะฉะนั้น อย่าทิ้งเพื่อนนะ

Love:

Lord as i seek Your guidance for the day

i find my thoughts unyielding, confusion crowds my way

but then when i bow to You

the challenges You’ve brought me through

Your promises are ever new, i need them for today

Your will cannot lead me where Your grace will not keep me

Your hand will protect me, i rest in Your care

Your eyes will watch over me, Your love will forgive me

and when i am faltering, i still will find You there.

Each new day’s design is charted by Your hand

and graciously revealed as i seek Your master plan

keep my footsteps faithful, when from You i go

return me to the joy that Your blessings can bestow

Your will cannot lead me where Your grace will not keep me

Your hand will protect me, i rest in Your care

Your eyes will watch over me, Your love will forgive me

and when i am faltering, i still will find You there.